Mother-Daughter Book Gets Edgy...

A NEW BELIEF ABOUT PARENTING OUR DAUGHTERS

What if we approach mothering our daughter from a new perspective?  A Divine Feminine perspective, as opposed to the old patriarchal view of obeying whoever is in power.  

What is a Divine Feminine perspective?  We were born into a male-energy way of relating to the world and behaving in the world.  We have become linear, task-oriented, hierarchical, externally led and externally powered. We barely realize it, because it is simply “how things are,” even though people are exhausted, depressed, and centered around having possessions.  

In the Divine Feminine perspective, there is no punishment. There are no power struggles. There is a sense of being receptive to new ideas and an allowance for creative solutions.  There is less striving externally and more intention-setting and believing and sychronicity and ease.  The old way of being has not helped humanity in raising daughters who don’t grow up into insecure, competitive women—if we are secure, unthreatened individuals, it is despite the old programming. The old perspective did not teach girls to listen to their inner voice; it taught us to obey authority.  The old perspective on parenting is a belief system that’s been handed down to us.  What if we could make a shift? For some, this shift will be easy and welcome. For others, there may be some resistance. Some people hold onto beliefs tighter than others. So be patient and loving with yourself—it’s the Divine Feminine way to be!

Here is a belief and its transformation: 

Sex is inherently bad.  Women should not like it.  It is used for babymaking, within wedlock.

From the 60s…out of the ashes…came the idea that sexuality and freedom can coexist. That it could be a pleasure and not inherently or exclusively linked to babymaking. But still a level “naughtiness” is attached to sex, a level of secrecy and discomfort.

 

And now try this leap:

Sex is Divine. It is a union of spirits in bodies. Girls engage with it for the first time when they consciously determine they are ready—with or without a partner. They are in charge of their level of consciousness regarding their bodies. Sex is not about being afraid or manipulated in order to be loved. It is about hearing your inner voice, and making a promise to yourself to honor your body and keeping it.  (And eventually it is also about making babies.)

The above is just a new belief.  Does it rattle you? If you have a preadolescent daughter, now is the time to begin to investigate your own beliefs about sexuality.

 

Here are some other beliefs I heard growing up:

Money:  Money doesn’t grow on trees.  The love of money is the root of all evil. 

Religion:   God’ll getcha for that.  Catholicism is the one true religion.

Bodies:   You can never be too rich or too thin.

Food:  You don’t live to eat, you eat to live.  You don’t have to like it to eat it.  

Jobs:  Security versus pleasure--not both in one job!

Make your own list from your past.

 

1. Money

2. Sex

3. Religion

4. Bodies

5. Food

6. Jobs

Which beliefs still operate in your life?  How have your beliefs evolved? 

Consider, for each item above, that it’s “just” a belief.  Examine why it was important to you or your parents.  What is the opposite of this belief?  What if your daughter believed the opposite? Can you imagine letting go of any belief that is not utterly and truly joyful?  Consider whether there are any beliefs you would like to evolve deliberately.