Which of these is the right point of view to have: thinking I’m so great, or thinking, I’m not good enough?
Let’s imagine: if we have a bunch of girls wrongly thinking, “I’m so great, better than you!” and another bunch of girls wrongly thinking, “I’m so not good enough, not as good as you!” what might happen? Often the not-good-enough-feelers will do what the so-great-feelers want, because it will make them feel better. And the so-great-feelers will feel popular and liked, when they have a following.
So who is right? What does “right” even mean? Who determines what or who is right? Are you great? Better than? Less than? Which is the real story?
LET’S START FROM LOVE
Maybe you have a close friend. Maybe you have a few good friends. Maybe more than a few. Take a moment and feel how many friends love you. Even the ones who sometimes give you trouble love you! Imagine your family surrounding you. These people love you no matter what. You are part of a network of people, all connected by LOVE. Draw your network of friends here, with yourself in the middle:
Stop and feel the love! Love is real! Stories are not. Whether you think you’re not as good as everyone else, or better than everyone else (or somewhere in between) those are just stories we make up to see where we fit in.
It’s great to start from a place of love, to find out where you fit in. Look at your drawing and see how you fit into a network of love. Love is happening all the time, even when you are not feeling it. If you are ever not feeling it, come back here and look at your network of love, just to remind you that it’s there.
I bet there is something you really want, right now. Maybe it is more than one thing. You want to do or be something or go somewhere or buy something or meet someone. Think about what it is. If what you want is bringing you conflict with your self or with your mom, it is time to re-route. Re-direct your desire. Wanting is endless. There will always be something to want. Sometimes we want things that will make us feel like we fit in. What if your desire could be harnessed and directed toward making you so happy, forever, so you no longer need to be or have something different, in order to be happy, or fit in?
What if your desire was to feel peaceful? Have you ever wondered why countries go to war, and how it is that people can find reasons to kill each other? It is a big world issue, too complex to even understand for most of us. I ask myself: but how can we have world peace if I can’t have peace within my own heart? How can we have world peace if I can’t have peace with my mom? Through creating peace inside ourselves and peace between mothers and daughters we actually can help create peace on earth. Peace begins within, with you. Our inner voice is a peaceful voice. The inner voice tells us what to do to create peace, all the time. It speaks peacefully to you. That’s how you can recognize it. Do you want to learn to hear it? If so, desire is a great place to start. If you have the desire for something that does not actually feel peaceful, hmmm...go back into your inner world and see what’s up with that!
Here is my desire: “To light up what’s going on between moms and girls.”
Sounds simple, right? That’s what I thought, too, until I started. I was surprised to see what happens when girls start to grow up. As you get older and smarter, your mom seems less smart. But guess what? She is just as smart as ever. It’s just that your perspective changes. I’m here to help you change perspectives in a way that doesn’t lead to being angry with each other.
Mothers and Daughters are more alike than they are different. But the key is remembering that! I have been told human mothers and daughters can sometimes get to feeling like they are strangers who don’t understand each other at all. I don’t think it was meant to be that way, and that won’t be happening to you and your mom, if I can help it!
How do you want your relationship with your mom to be? You can decide, and MAKE it like that, as long as you and your mom are both ready and cool with it. Are you in?
Before we go any further, what do you want MORE of in your mother-daughter life together?
What do you want less of?
But before we create your relationship the way you want it to be, first you are going to learn to hear your inner voice. Maybe you are already good at this. Maybe you have no idea what I’m talking about. Well, there’s no right or wrong on this adventure.
The more you listen to your inner voice, the more interesting it will be. There’s a lot going on! When it knows you’re listening, the messages will get better and better. Mine is very interesting! It is what told me what to write in this book! Inside YOU is where the Divine voice lives.
Decide on a time when that would work for you, a time when you can fully relax.
Once you are disconnected from the outside world, what are you going to do? You’re going to do this book. This book works best when you are fully unplugged. You don’t have to unplug your computer; you have to unplug yourself from your computer.
An experiment: Turn one thing off each day. By choice. Determine what it’s going to be. Commit to and choose one THING each day to turn off for at least an hour. Notice the feelings that come up and see what your electronic connection used to add to your life. After getting used to not having it, make a conscious decision whether or not you want to invite it back in. If it is adding something to your life that you like, see if there is another way of bringing this same quality in, without plugging in.
The 10-Breath Reunion….
Every day at a time of your choice, stop to take ten breaths. Make them conscious breaths. What does that mean? It means feel them. Feel the life flowing in—if you didn’t have your breath, you wouldn’t be alive! Let life fill you up, and feel it. Also feel the peaceful release, like you are exhaling peace out into the Universe. Ahhh. Know that the Goddess flows into and through you along with your breath, and give her a peaceful, happy journey during those 10 breaths.